Half of the conferences I'm aware of have cancelled this year. We are talking not-jokingly about cancelling the Summer Olympics.
Having a conference at all is newsworthy at this point. And they've had a few weeks or a month to come up with a completely new strategy for something they usually have a year to figure out?
Have you ever been involved in planning or running an annual event? It doesn't sound like you have. That people make it look easy is a testament to their skills, not the magnitude of the logistical problem.
You used a lot of words to say, "I hate Apple and this schadenfreude is not living up to my expectations."
