You know, I've gone to these meetings with a number of people (my mother, who unfortunately lost her battles with it, and other family members/friends). I'll note that I've done this worldwide, to some degree - Japan, USA (east and west coast). I'm saying this to point out that I'm in there as an observer for these people attempting recovery, so this experience is cultivated from multiple viewpoints/locales/etc.
I have witnessed _exactly_ what you're saying, and I've seen people feel so unwelcome that it hurts them more than helps them. It blows my mind the stranglehold that AA has on this industry, given how demeaning it can be to people who are looking for help.
I've seen more success with people going to SMART recovery meetings, which focus on providing a space to talk and seek help without the judgement level associated with AA.
I reached a point where I realized I needed help to quit drinking. I looked into AA and a coworker whom I knew had gone through the program gave me a little red book. It felt very dogmatic and turned me off to the program. I never attended a meeting.
Instead I read a different book that could be summarized as "There are lots of good reasons to stop drinking and lets go over them." I also used r/stopdrinking as a support group for daily check-ins.
I can't say whether Alcoholics Anonymous would have helped me had I gone to the meetings but the literature was really unattractive. My understanding of SMART is they don't let you refer to yourself as an "alcoholic" or "addict". I feel that framing was much better for me than what I read in the Alcoholics Anonymous pamphlet.
I have witnessed _exactly_ what you're saying, and I've seen people feel so unwelcome that it hurts them more than helps them. It blows my mind the stranglehold that AA has on this industry, given how demeaning it can be to people who are looking for help.
I've seen more success with people going to SMART recovery meetings, which focus on providing a space to talk and seek help without the judgement level associated with AA.