What group of assholes believes that? It's sexist bullshit.
If you're surrounded by that, it's got to be incredibly unhappy. Some thoughts (unsolicited, I recognize):
- to make space in your life for better people, start deprecating the toxic ones.
- there are lots of positive groups of men. Not always, but places to look: Dojos, Freemasons, sports groups (not necessarily very athletic groups, either).
- some independent fun helps. A motorcycle is fun.
- or start bodybuilding to get some of these assholes to fear you a bit. People compliment those that they fear.
> What group of assholes believes that? It's sexist bullshit.
Yet fairly typical in modern Western society. I can’t count the number of times people have open insulted and/or discounted “males” and particularly “white males” in my presence. “Oh, but you’re different”. I have no idea how to even respond to that.
I can’t even imagine people doing the same to women or minority males 25 years ago without (justifiably) being excluded from polite society (it was happening to gay people back then, and I’m very glad those days are pretty much over, or at least much better).
Ok, to be fair, the “many times” is counting online interactions (including w/fellow devs). So it was misleading in that sense. I should have mentioned it. But it’s also happened in life with coworkers (several times) and even with my own family (a big source of discord). I can even tell you the context of some of the recent interactions: discounting political candidates because they’re “just another white male”. Probably, you will argue that’s not an insult, but can you imagine someone saying they weren’t hiring a woman because she’s “just another woman”.
And it’s usually in the form of “men” and “white men” and not “white males” although people have used those terms, too, in front of me.
As I’m sure you know, this is in the US. I’ve lived overseas in several European countries and never gotten anything like this. It’s also a recent phenomenon, within the past 5 years or so.
But the fact that you asked that question has made me reflect on how I made that assertion (in an exaggerated/misleading manner, since the “many” includes online interactions). If I could, I’d edit it. I’ll be more careful in the future when discussing this.
> As I’m sure you know, this is in the US. I’ve lived overseas in several European countries and never gotten anything like this.
Well, I suspected it, since my experience in Europe, but it's not like I lived in more than a few countries here, so I was curious. I have to admit it does rile me up a bit when people generalize the US as "the West" :)
I do wonder why that hasn't seem to have crossed the pond significantly.
Fair enough. I’ll be more careful about “Western Society”. It’s been over 10 years since I last lived in Europe (France, at that time), and I’ve not been back since (except for a 2-month stay in Turkey), so I’m not entirely use how much of this identity politics has permeated European society.
I think it’s only a matter of time before it crosses over to Britain, and then possibly on to Germany and/or Scandinavia. I can’t see France or Spain moving in this direction any time soon.
If you're surrounded by that, it's got to be incredibly unhappy. Some thoughts (unsolicited, I recognize):
- to make space in your life for better people, start deprecating the toxic ones.
- there are lots of positive groups of men. Not always, but places to look: Dojos, Freemasons, sports groups (not necessarily very athletic groups, either).
- some independent fun helps. A motorcycle is fun.
- or start bodybuilding to get some of these assholes to fear you a bit. People compliment those that they fear.
Unsolicited, given, but HTH.