I am struggling with this as well. If you were there a decade I'm guessing you are set for life financially? I know I would have been at a decade but left after 5 years so I am not set for life which means I'm in this dilemma. go back for the money (safe retirement) or do something more risky (dad took the risk, failed, might be in the poor house except married a younger wife who has good job). I'm 54 so not a lot of time to recover.
In any case I know other people who left. One told me he went stir crazy and joined his friend's startup part time (because they can't afford him full time) but he doesn't need the money, just doesn't want to feel taken advantage of.
Another had enough that he mostly just enjoys is life with his wife. His kids are adults and live around the world so he travels to see then. Him and his wife attend investor meetups to invest in startups. He makes simple robots as a hobby (and possibly a new company but so far just hobby). They also left the USA, tried a year in Asia and so far 2 in Europe, a year in the first spot, and starting a year in the second, no plans to move but of course they have the means to switch.
I know for myself, looking back on my own happiness, I was happiest when working with best friends on projects I liked. There are at least 2 companies with close friends I could work with but their projects are not so clearly projects I'm interested in and both would pay low compared to FAANG (guess is 1/5th to 1/6th) so it's not an easy decision. Also not clear if it would pay out of they do well. I other words don't want to feel I'm selling them my life for their success.
I was also happiest when I was part of the core team helping to make the decisions of what ships, what the shape the product is. On at least one team I was "just an engineer" and found it so frustrating to watch the leads go have their meetings to decide everything and then just be told what the direction was. Not sure how to fix that except to start my own thing which is easier said than done.
Feels so stupid to be so worried about this spoiled engineer problem though.
How many FAANGs have you worked for? You could try a different one and see if you can last 5 years there, thus making up the total 10 years needed to accumulate what to an average salary is a career's worth of income.
Or even a second/third tier FAANG. BigCo, sure, maybe even not technically a tech-company (I classify my own employer this way), but the base salaries are still pretty nice even if you'll be demoralized at how much less you get in annual RSUs compared to the first tier FAANGs.
I ask since I also ruminate on this question (a lot more commonly since my 5 year mark passed a few months ago) but I've also observed we get a lot of incoming hires from places like Microsoft/Intel/even Apple. While I'm not sure the frustrations at the other BigCos would be any more tolerable after a prolonged period than my current BigCo, I do think they'd at least be different, and eventually intolerable in different ways. That can be enough to make it work out. For me, the stresses aren't so much the team or even the project, but the higher level company policies/dysfunctions that can't be solved by moving to a new team. (I think "not having any say in product direction" is something that can be solved by moving teams -- or similarly "tired of having to do the PM's job" for those who just want to code solutions to given problems.)
Of course there are always the smaller companies available, and their base pay isn't that much less than the FAANGs. Soon I'll get to welcome back a former coworker who left our BigCo for the then not so big and just-recently-IPO'd Tableau. There are many such pre-IPO or recently-IPO'd companies that are well funded enough to offer comparable base salaries, with stock options that if they pan out will tend to be a nice little boost on what you'd get just having worked at a FAANG and receiving RSUs. (And if not, at least the base salary is still quite a bit better than you'd get doing many other things instead.) I know his mental sanity was a lot better for the move, it'll be interesting to see how long it takes for him to leave again.
And of course there are various consulting routes. At my previous job we were a 2 (and at times 4) person unfunded startup. To fill the coffers the founder occasionally leveraged his consulting network he built prior to going full-time startup and took on small projects that I'd also shift my focus to. The change in work to deliver on those was fun, and if you do that all the time instead you can make good money. I'm not that great at network building though, but fortunately if you can't find your own clients to do a project for (or a client who will have you work on a team of full timers for a fixed term) there are plenty of intermediaries. One of my close coworkers in his early 40s has had a good time alternating between long stints and doing contract work in between. Unlike me though he doesn't want to reach a state of not working. (Technically I see it as wanting "not having to work to live" rather than not working ever again, but he doesn't want to stop working period, so "having to" work isn't really a concern. My mom was like that and she was working until she died, I didn't inherit that trait though.)
I think back to https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=7423626 a lot and consider "just suck it up" as a decent solution. Or take a year break (easier for me, I'm only 29), then suck it up for another 5 somewhere else in order to hit the threshold "effectively retired, barring a Great Depression" investment number. Then I can do what I want, which could very well be described as noodling, as opposed to something with a "mission" or "meaning".
Like you I sometimes feel stupid for not just internalizing "work is work" and carrying on. It's not such a terrible problem to face, wanting to get out of a cushy-yet-soul-crushing gig with minimal hazards, yet here I am ruminating about it.
In any case I know other people who left. One told me he went stir crazy and joined his friend's startup part time (because they can't afford him full time) but he doesn't need the money, just doesn't want to feel taken advantage of.
Another had enough that he mostly just enjoys is life with his wife. His kids are adults and live around the world so he travels to see then. Him and his wife attend investor meetups to invest in startups. He makes simple robots as a hobby (and possibly a new company but so far just hobby). They also left the USA, tried a year in Asia and so far 2 in Europe, a year in the first spot, and starting a year in the second, no plans to move but of course they have the means to switch.
I know for myself, looking back on my own happiness, I was happiest when working with best friends on projects I liked. There are at least 2 companies with close friends I could work with but their projects are not so clearly projects I'm interested in and both would pay low compared to FAANG (guess is 1/5th to 1/6th) so it's not an easy decision. Also not clear if it would pay out of they do well. I other words don't want to feel I'm selling them my life for their success.
I was also happiest when I was part of the core team helping to make the decisions of what ships, what the shape the product is. On at least one team I was "just an engineer" and found it so frustrating to watch the leads go have their meetings to decide everything and then just be told what the direction was. Not sure how to fix that except to start my own thing which is easier said than done.
Feels so stupid to be so worried about this spoiled engineer problem though.