I had my own mail server running for close to a year after which i gave up because i started seeing issues delivering mail to gmail and apple mail accounts. I had to keep tinkering with the DKIM/DMARC/SPF entries to make sure i'm compliant with gmail/outlook/etc. At somepoint i gave up because it wasn't worth the investment of time.
FWIW, i used mail cow [0], which was a delight to setup and use. And it comes bundled with a decent-ish material design webclient.
I would love to go back to hosting my own mail server though. As of now, i shut it down, and use gsuite.
Still running my mailcow. I don't care if people don't get my mail. I can show them that i handed the over to their server - everything else is their concern. At least legally. If you can't read my mail cause you misconfigured your spam filter I can't help.
When someone in a company agrees on a meeting in their office with someone from outside the company, and the visitor arrives at time well-dressed and is rejected by the companies security without any explanation, then who is at fault? It is not the visitor, it is the awful cooperation between the person in the company and their companies security.
It is entirely reasonable to show how you've handed your mail to gmail and they refused it without actionable explanation, so it is a problem between the recipient and gmail.
GMail being at fault isn't going to make up for a missed invitation (or RSVP) to a special event, or not getting a note of congratulations on an accomplishment, or not getting a message of condolences.
Assigning blame is done after the fact to make up for a mistake.
If one completely disregards political consequences, and generally anything but personal short-term benefit, I agree with your reasoning. Otherwise, I see not how that would be possible. And I think arguing just for short-term practicality is deeply flawed; by that you'd also cooperate with a murdering dictator if it helped you personally.
FWIW, i used mail cow [0], which was a delight to setup and use. And it comes bundled with a decent-ish material design webclient.
I would love to go back to hosting my own mail server though. As of now, i shut it down, and use gsuite.
[0]: https://mailcow.email/