Hacker News new | past | comments | ask | show | jobs | submit login

Most people believe that vulnerability is a weakness and a disadvantage but this is demonstrably untrue. Showing vulnerability is a way to develop rapport and connection with other people. Here is a great example using Jennifer Lawrence who is particularly good at this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=btud-zsdmk4

There are definitely caveats to this. It has to be done a certain way. It works better when you already have some status. And I'd absolutely agree that society lets women express more vulnerability than men. In a hypermasculine environment like a group of socially clueless 20something males at a tech company, you will probably want to show vulnerability less often.

But with the general population and normal people, it's really fine and even good to show some vulnerability, just do it in the right context.




Isn’t this just faux vulnerability, or vulnerability from the position of power?

In other words, it’s not the ”oh my god, my life is crashing, I don’t know what to do, please help me” kind of vulnerability (that one isn’t seen as very attractive or welcomed by the society), it’s the “my life is awesome, except this tiny part, but it’s cool, I’ll manage” kind of vulnerability.


It seems like you're using an extreme example. Most people's lives are not crashing down around them, but they still have vulnerabilities -- anxieties, problems, things they're afraid of. I responded to a comment saying that vulnerability and weakness are not rewarded, and gave an example of how they can be.


That seems analogous to the humble-brag.


>Showing vulnerability is a way to develop rapport and connection with other people.

Also a way for people to attack you. A vulnerability is always a weakness, it's the definition of vulnerability. You are talking about faking a vulnerability, a social technique so old that is in Sun Tsu's "The Art of War".




Consider applying for YC's W25 batch! Applications are open till Nov 12.

Guidelines | FAQ | Lists | API | Security | Legal | Apply to YC | Contact

Search: