I'm a parent of a disabled child, and I'm afraid I think your attitude actually contributes to the problem - people will naturally be scared to offend if parents think and react as harshly as you describe.
Try to put yourself in other parents' shoes - don't forget that you weren't always the parent of a disabled child, and it's possible you would have felt just as awkward as them.
Yes, people sometimes say something that you find offensive or demeaning, but they mosty likely didn't mean it to come across like that. Instead of reacting harshly, try to subtely educate them - for example, if someone said "Oh, she's Down's Syndrome", I might respond with "yes, she has Down's Syndrome", with a subtle emphasis on the has - my daughter has Down's Syndrome, but she is not Down's Syndrome itself. Or if someone said "does she have a mild case of it?", I might respond by explaining more about the various issues and degrees of those.
The point is, most people are ignorant of a lot of disabilities and surrounding problems - that doesn't make them bad people. And - when given the opportunity - most people want to learn more. I see it as "doing my bit" to help educate people, rather than reacting harshly and turning them off for good.
Try to put yourself in other parents' shoes - don't forget that you weren't always the parent of a disabled child, and it's possible you would have felt just as awkward as them.
Yes, people sometimes say something that you find offensive or demeaning, but they mosty likely didn't mean it to come across like that. Instead of reacting harshly, try to subtely educate them - for example, if someone said "Oh, she's Down's Syndrome", I might respond with "yes, she has Down's Syndrome", with a subtle emphasis on the has - my daughter has Down's Syndrome, but she is not Down's Syndrome itself. Or if someone said "does she have a mild case of it?", I might respond by explaining more about the various issues and degrees of those.
The point is, most people are ignorant of a lot of disabilities and surrounding problems - that doesn't make them bad people. And - when given the opportunity - most people want to learn more. I see it as "doing my bit" to help educate people, rather than reacting harshly and turning them off for good.