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Scott Adams: Phone (dilbert.com)
74 points by cwan on Sept 3, 2010 | hide | past | favorite | 64 comments



Side note:

> "When my so-called phone rings, my first reaction is "Shit. What's wrong now?" ..."

This is so true. Partly because we've trained our contacts this way. I only ring people when it's 'important' (read: shit+fan) and tend to expect the same in return.

It's odd since a 30 second phone call can usually replace 10 minutes of back and forth over email (albeit without the paper-trail).


I saw somebody not too long ago say something like "I wonder if 30 years from now, ringing someone on the phone will be considered as rude as we now consider showing up on their doorstep unannounced to be".


It is. It is and it always has been. Because since we've all had phones, we've been under a social contract with them. When the phone rings, you have about 30 seconds to choose between being ripped out of your current focus (work, reading, eating, in-person conversation, etc.) or to not answer at all (which can come off as rude).

Sure, caller-ID and voicemail have mitigated these problems somewhat, but at the very least your concentration is broken when the telephone rings. Email and other textual messaging are much less invasive and you respond when you choose.

Having said that, I do find some rare cases where a phone conversation is better than a textual one (complex but short instructions, for example).


Not quite. If I'm, for example, naked in front of my computer, a phone call is not as big a problem as someone at my door.

Especially if there are windows next to my door and the only path to my clothes goes in front of the door. (Just speaking hypothetically here.)


I think telemarketers are helping with this, especially when you start getting automated calls on your cell. When I know there's the automated calling going on, I won't answer a call unless the person is in my contacts (I don't want caller ID on my cell as it makes filtering much easier)


Have you put yourself on the ftc's do not call registry? Its pretty easy and I've found it effective: http://donotcall.gov/


I have the same negative reaction to going to the mail box these days. With the exception of the odd expected delivery from amazon, nothing good comes from checking the mail.


Not that I don't like Scott Adams' blog, but every time I see (dilbert.com), I get my hopes up that just this once it'll be an actual comic.


Really? I'm quickly learning to expect it'll be an interesting blog post instead of a boring recycled-joke office comic.


I still like his comics, but yes, his writing is excellent.


Whenever someone wonders in conversation who won the Battle of Trafalgar or how to get to Safeco Field by bus, I always say the same thing:

"That's the kind of question I ask the magic box."

For me this thing means knowledge. It's the oracle, the multitool, the utility belt, the mystic key.

I suggest we all call it "the box".


The box is already colloquial English for the TV, as in, "What's on the box tonight?".


We are starting to call that thing a "screen" in my home, because we might hook it up to Nintendo, DVD, computer, cable, what have you.

I agree "box" may be a little overloaded but the context will usually make things clear. There is only one thing you can do with broadcast television: watch.

We also have "the tube" for broadcast television (a little dated because the tubes are disappearing), or "cable".

Maybe this is a regional thing though.


I was under the impression it is colloquial English for female genitalia.


My friend calls it the "Everything Device".


I was down until he got to what he wanted to call it. Really? Can we just choose something that isn't already tangled up in 50 pounds of sexual innuendo?


Fifty pounds? You must have huge feet.

But on the topic at hand (as it were): I was hoping for some German-inspired mashup name, like "Device that allows one person to sometimes hear part of what another person is saying, no matter where they are, at least 80% of the time".

Well, now that I type that, I suppose it's not very funny. But arguably more funny than calling it "head".


Calling it a phone is fine. I don't see why the word can't evolve. These sort of things happen organically.

However, I liked his observation about the recipient of every phone call being a "victim."


I think we should call it a global communicator link, or "Global" for short.

Points to anyone who knows the reference.


>This is a replica of the Global Communicator link like they used on Earth Final Conflict .

Points to anyone who can use Google.


I like Charlie Brooker's name for them... Jabscreen [1]

Well, at least for a certain class of 'smartphone'

[1] http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2010/jul/05/iphone-4...


The widely used colloquial term for mobile phone is „Handy“ (a fake anglicism) in German. We don’t have that problem.


"Handy" simply denotes a mobile telephone. While virtually all mobile telephones have technological features that wired telephones did not, it does not capture the difference between a basic mobile phone and a modern smartphone; the former is a phone that may do computer-like things while the latter is a pocket computer that also makes phone calls.

"Smartphone" may not be the best possible name, but it seems to communicate to most people "Android, iPhone or similar".


In Sweden we usually call it "mobil", so we don't have the problem either.


Same in Norway, that being said: when someone says “mobil” people will usually think of a cellphone and voice communication (or SMS), but that meaning will probably change.


until consumer heads-up displays crop up and the devices spend most of their time in pockets.


>We need a new name for that thing

I've always hated Apple like the pox, but I give them this - they made it fashionable to carry around a pocket computer.


Pocket Computer is the term that sprang to mind as well. Eventually we can drop the 'pocket' part when it becomes redundant. Alternatively, shorten it to PC.


I've actually referred to my Droid as a computer a few times without context. (As in "I'll just check on my computer.")


My dad always told me: 'the phone is there for your convenience, not for for anyone else'. If I don't feel like fielding a call at a given moment, I simply won't pick up. But I'll take texts or emails anytime!

What about emergencies? A certain protocol exists for friends and family in double-ringing the phone which always gets me to pick up immediately.


Because my grandmother was insanely cheap, we had this thing where she would call and hang up after one ring, and then we would call her back. Then the phone company got priority ringing, so we just wouldn't pick up when she called.

Anyway, your thing about double-ringing reminded me.


FYI: "Leaving a missed-call" is a very common thing in India (and perhaps other countries too).


"Leave a missed call" was so popular in South Africa that the networks implemented "Send a call me", where you send a GSM code with the target person's phone number and the network sends that person an sms message from your number with the text "please call me", your number, and an advertisement. Normally sending messages attracts a charge per SMS but a "please call me" is free, advertiser supported and limited in how many one can send per day.


Also known in the UK as a "one-ringer" or "missed call" (as in - "I'm running low on credit, I'll just missed call you when I'm there?"). Amusingly enough, my brother, who had eked out 10p of credit for several weeks this way, once got quite annoyed when I was a little too prompt to answer the phone...


What about calling them a mobile?


This seemed glaringly obvious to me, but I guess he wouldn't have had anything to write about then.


Doesn't that just beg the question?


I've come to start using the term "exobrain", coined by Adams himself: http://dilbert.com/blog/entry/exobrain/


Me too, I think he should stick with that one.


I vote for phone. It just has a different definition now, in a generation or so nobody will even remember that it was originally something used solely for voice conversations.


If you're a startup working on a mobile-related software or device, the comments there are a whole wealth of the ideas for your brand name... Damn, jeejah.com is taken... ;)


> "Granted, there could be some confusion if a head is contemplated as a gift item, but that's a risk I'm willing to take."

That's why it fun to read Scott's stuff. Right there in the middle of a 'serious' discussion on finding a new name for a phone he drops this little LOLbomb.

I think calling it a memex would be interesting as well...going way old school. ;-)


"Oooooh, a head-bag, those are chock full of... heady goodness!"


I like the term "node"—short for "communications node"—as a general term for things you have in your pocket that give you WAN access. An iPhone is a node and a computer (nodeputer? interactive node? smartnode?) An iPod Touch is just a portable computer, and it connects to a MiFi node in my other pocket.


More people will have "phone" computers than laptop computers so eventually we can just refer to "phones" as computers. Laptops can still be laptops or PCs.


In that light, how about "eartop" or "fingertop"? or maybe "palmtop"? (that one might have some tm issues).


When I hear "palmtop", I free-associate back to "PDA", which is exactly what they still are. Now they just make phone calls too.


Call them jeejaws. That phrase in Anathem just so elegantly wrapped up what cellphones really are like.


I was going to suggest this. That novel is so epic. It's actually Jeejah(s).


I've heard "joymaker", from an even older SF novel, suggested.


Tasp? It's an electrical device that rots your brain by overstimulating it. Too bad it sounds a little clinical.


Why not just use one of the terms that already in our daily vocabulary like: Cell or Mobile.


It may just stay being called 'phone', the same way a computer is called a computer.


"Phone" is Greek for "voice", so perhaps a different name would be in order.

But neither "mobile" nor "cell" says anything about voice in particular, so I would think they are suitable terms for "portable communication device connected to a cellular network" even when the device primarily deals with non-voice services.


In formal German you can call phones in general Fernsprecher. A literal translation would be remote talking device.


However "cell" refers to a portion of the infrastructure running the cellular network, so that's not a good option.


Node? But it's as about as unwelcoming as name as you could find.


Slowly the word will mean something else. That's just how language works.


If I were being cynical I might call it a Tether.


An informational skyhook?


I call it my "Exo-brain"


The Oracle


my vote for new term:

comm

that's how I think of my iPhone. It's my comm unit. Cross between a Star Trek communicator, tricorder and portable Spock science console. We just need to add phaser.


Seconded. That is what the multi purpose, networked portable device is mostly used for. Communication.




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