It's true that NT won't let you remove a directory if a child has a handle open. But I suspect you are getting the reasoning backwards. The directory is not empty as long as that delete pending file is there. Remove this ill-conceived implementation detail (and it is that) then this and other problems go away.

There is also an API that retrieves a filename from a handle. I don't think it guarantees the name be usable though.

It's easy to imagine a system that works the way I would have it, because it exists: Unix. You can unlink and keep descriptors open. NT is very close to being there too, except for these goofy quirks which are kind of artificial.