Sounds like you're preparing/triangulating to me, give it a few years and I can almost promise it will all make sense. Just accept that you're not in control and follow your intuition and all will be fine :)
You're welcome :) If you had any idea how many hundreds of thousands of locs I've thrown away over 30 years. Yet I wouldn't want to be anywhere else, and it was all leading here. These days I'm comfortable just going with the flow without rationalizing, it's not as if my stubborn attempts at controlling life were working out that well anyways...
