I lived in New York for ten years (most of it in Washington Heights), and I can't agree with you enough.
Except for the home-cooked meal thing. My ex-girlfriend and I delivered an entire Thanksgiving feast to a friend's apartment when we discovered our stove had stopped working (and probably hadn't been working for months), but cooking food was a relative rarity. New York is the only place I have been where people throw birthday parties for each other in a local bar.
I don't see why this is so odd. I live in Seattle and most everyone I know, who lives in the city, throw parties in bars and restaurants. Who wants to deal with dirty dishes, potential strangers stealing stuff, wine on the carpet, broken glass, lack of seating, lack of glasses and plates, parking, etc? Even if you have the room and dinnerware to accommodate that many people, it's just easier to go to a bar.
Except for the home-cooked meal thing. My ex-girlfriend and I delivered an entire Thanksgiving feast to a friend's apartment when we discovered our stove had stopped working (and probably hadn't been working for months), but cooking food was a relative rarity. New York is the only place I have been where people throw birthday parties for each other in a local bar.