I worked with an Indian guy for a few years. He said that in India it is extremely unusual for a person to not follow an extremely rigid career track. It's the legacy of the cast system pigeonholing people into various professions. In the caste system, your identity very narrowly dictates your job. In the west, job and identity are far more distinct.
"It's interesting how almost every aspect of life in India is eventually spun and attributed to the caste system - kind of like Godwin's law."
Yes. Usually by people who have no direct experience of India. But then many people in India with no direct experience of America believe it is an immoral nihilistic society of "uncultured" pleasure seeking barbarians (rich too ;-)) .
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>> it is an immoral nihilistic society of "uncultured" pleasure seeking barbarians
>You're saying its not?"
yes I am. Or more precisely the point was that America is no more an immoral nihilistic society than India is.
To clarify even more, I am saying that the Indian assumption of "moral superiority" to America (something you'll hear if you hang around Non Resident Indian circles) is total rubbish.
Most Indians in America clump defensively with "their own kind" and know next to nothing of American history or culture and have few real friends (not acquaintances) among Americans. I have lived in the USA and it is a great place. These days I live in India and (surprise, surprise) it is a great place too.
America and India are very different from each other - what would you expect? India and America are almost exactly half the world apart- but there is really no "moral" superiority for one over the other. People are the same everywhere. There are just as many (by ratio) cultured people and uncouth ones, good people and bad people, bright people and fools in India as in America.
People who say and believe such things are (imo) close minded idiots reacting stupidly to culture shock.
"as long as you want to change the tone of your post completely from an strong absolute to a weak relative statement..."
Rubbish. There is no "change of tone". In my first comment I said that some people in India believe that America is a nihilistic nation and Indians are somehow more "moral". In my second comment, in response to your statement saying that you think such a judgment about Americans is correct (says a lot about you doesn't it? Why do you continue to live and work among these uncultured nihilists then vs going back to your more civilized homeland?), I said that people who believe such crap are fools and hypocrites. No "tone difference" there. And there were no absolute statements made in the first place to "tone down".
You missed the point. The misconceptions some Indians have about the West are absurd. Here are a few samples:
1. Every American divorces at least once. An average American marries about 3 to 5 times. I have no idea where this comes from.
2. Americans disown their kids at 16. I've pointed out that American teenagers often work part-time, and that this is a good thing. I'm usually just shouted down.
3. Americans don't entertain guests because food is too expensive. Nobody spends the night at anybody else's place.
4. Americans are materialistic and value money over family bonds.
5. American girls always dress in skimpy outfits. American guys sleep with every girl they can.
Frankly all your misconceptions ring so true. Just fire up HBO, Star World or any other western channel here in India and you will see all these misconceptions come alive. How else are Indians supposed to make opinions? :)
Hmm, by this logic Indians would believe that life in India is about dancing and singing all day in a rain of flowers, and getting lucky is getting a peck on the cheek... Now I've never been in India but I'm pretty sure Indians realize it's not like this :)
Fundamental Attribution Error: "A person will attribute qualities of [their own nation] to their environment and situation, but qualities of [other nations] to inherent properties of those others."
Everyone knows their own country isn't like the way it's portrayed by the media. But, at the same time, everyone knows that all other countries are like the way they're portrayed in the media. It's a wonder our brains don't leak out.
This has nothing to do with caste system. India doesn't have the social safety net like the west, so people tend to be more conservative, for example if you get injured at work , you are screwed for rest of your life , no disability benefits like in the west .
Believe it or not I went half my life without knowing what my caste is, no one cares about caste at least in the cities .
>> "no one cares about caste at least in the cities"
I find this to be reasonably close, till it comes to marriage. Very few families wholeheartedly agree for an Inter caste marriage.
I really don't think caste plays that much of a role (in day to day Indian corporate life) as it is made out to be. Past 5 years working in this industry, I have never been asked about my caste or been discriminated against because of it. It seems the non-Indian is more obsessed with caste than Indians, nowadays.
What always fascinates me is that this rigid track extends beyond careers and to the family life. According to my Indian colleagues, the social structure sets expectation on the type of wife, age you are married, age you start having kids.
I would say this is true to a large extent. Our family knew an Indian who wanted to marry his Japanese girlfriend. The parents behaved like the biggest <censored> on the planet, even harassing the couple and taking the guy around to meet other women (who they thought were more appropriate for their son). Needless to say, that family went through quite a rough patch. But this is true of Indian parents. On one hand you have the new, more educated variety of parents who allow the kid to charter his/her own life. Then you have the weirdos who are completely out of touch with the world and feel that they know everything (no literally, from deciding their kids' majors in college to deciding where the kid should build his/her home). Right now there are more weirdos in India than the sane ones.
I don't have a better response than saying BullSH!T.
Ask your friend to peek out and look at the city dwellers, there's no set age for one to get married though parents are heavily involved in the process, there's social pressure and most people get married in their 20's.
Ofcourse these are the norms, within the handful of people I know the exception rate would be 20-30% which is high enough not to take all the social structure/expectation stuff too seriously
Oh come on. I know several people in their late twenties being pressured into marriage by their families. Why? Because, according to their families, if they don't marry right now they'll never find a husband/wife for themselves and spend their lives childless. Or something.
I said there's social pressure... but frankly isn't this the same even in the US, don't mom nag their daughters to find the right guy when they are of the "right" age here.
