We detached this subthread from https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=13748411 and marked it off-topic.

> Suppose you have a pattern of behavior around me that offends and discomforts me. If I speak out, and complain, and you continue, you are probably being abusive (although not necessarily.) On the otherhand, if I make no attempt to express my discomfort in any way (doesnt mean verbal, could be anything), then the fault lies with ME, the supposed victim.

Bullshit. This kind of criticism might occasionally apply when the conduct in question falls into a grey area, or when it's not predictably offensive to literally any adult human with two brain cells to rub together, but that has absolutely nothing to do with the sort of situation described in this article. And you should be ashamed to say such things in a discussion about someone being sexually assaulted in the workplace.

If you're not talking about this situation at Uber, then why is your comment relevant?

Despite your claim that you're discussing other situations, it seems like you are trying to say the post author is a "victim" rather than a victim.

"Projecting" is psychological jargon describing the act of ascribing one's own feelings or motivations to another.

Since I don't have an ulterior motive, perhaps you are projecting?

"If I behave like an asshole, and nobody calls me an asshole, I'm actually not an asshole."

Yeah, makes perfect sense.

It makes sense if you regard humans as easily manipulatable/malleable emotional beings instead of rational beings.

Just a tiny fraction of people are able to look at their "output" in a way that isn't being almost completely shaped by their "input".

If all their inputs says that their behavior is okay, they'll regard it as okay.

Sorry, I thought you were being sarcastic about it making sense. Due to that I explained why it makes sense for someone to belive something that external objective viewers would consider irrational.