One thing that I think is important, and I've struggled with, is making 'fault' be a synonym for 'control'. There's this broken thought pattern where any perceived failure is either:
1. My fault (I failed)
2. Out of my control (I'm powerless/helpless).
Both are pretty shitty ways to feel. I think many people who advise/coach/mentor forget this when they give this sort of advice. I remember listening to one well-meaning coach talk through the "victim vs. owning mentality" and I walked out of the session thinking about everything that was wrong at work and how it was because I was incompetent.
Feeling inadequate is common and natural in a highly competitive environment. It's not our fault, we're human beings.
Bear in mind, everyone who works at the company contributes to this culture. When you say "it's by design," you're implying there's some elite group of people at the company who are doing this out of malice. Even the execs who we might cast most of the blame for this on (who are also human beings) are probably feeling inadequate too.
But at the same time, we have the ability to recognize these thoughts and challenge them. So there is hope to rise above it, even though we will probably always struggle with it to some degree.
1. My fault (I failed)
2. Out of my control (I'm powerless/helpless).
Both are pretty shitty ways to feel. I think many people who advise/coach/mentor forget this when they give this sort of advice. I remember listening to one well-meaning coach talk through the "victim vs. owning mentality" and I walked out of the session thinking about everything that was wrong at work and how it was because I was incompetent.
Feeling inadequate is common and natural in a highly competitive environment. It's not our fault, we're human beings.
Bear in mind, everyone who works at the company contributes to this culture. When you say "it's by design," you're implying there's some elite group of people at the company who are doing this out of malice. Even the execs who we might cast most of the blame for this on (who are also human beings) are probably feeling inadequate too.
But at the same time, we have the ability to recognize these thoughts and challenge them. So there is hope to rise above it, even though we will probably always struggle with it to some degree.