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"It's just like we all learned in college! Object Oriented programming is supposed to model real-life!"

It is - in execution (message passing), not in taxonomies. You can't model the taxonomies because all set-in-stone languages are inadequate for that (see SICP, for example). Also, it sounds like someone had an inheritance mania on your project. That's an instant loss right there. (But maybe the language used didn't allow for anything better? C++ is notoriously bad in this respect, for example.)




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