"Incidentally, a whale penis is the largest, and no discussion would be complete without mentioning the unique ability of whales. They are able to achieve erections at will, as readily as a man lifting his hand, and are the only mammal with this ability. This explains the lack of pornography marketed to whales. They simply don’t need it!"

Really good writing, this is.

I like how in the last sentence the author hints his approximate age and marital situation. Genius!

"My nearest neighbor was Jerry Jerrell, who lived in a house he’d built with his wife. Jerry and Sherry had each been married before, and referred to themselves as “forced homebodies” because they couldn’t go to town without running into an ex."

and

"[Possums] live the way I feel most of the time—a nomadic living fossil, a loner unable to tolerate company except during mating season."

really fine, fine writing (reminds me a little of Dave Eggers at his best)

i've seen a few possums before, but didn't have a recipe (until now); hopefully i'll run into one again soon.

If I could find articles of this quality from the genre easily, it'd have been a significant risk for me to starve to death when reading food recipes.

This will be my new go-to example of good writing. Thank you!