> Please do ask yourself that question often, and if the answer is 'no' or 'maybe' then simply don't and save yourself a lot of grief and regret in the long run.
Actually, don't "simply don't" because that's not a useful way to go about improving things. Learn how your brain works and what you can do to actively change the way it currently operates. You wouldn't expect a trainer at the gym to simply tell you "get stronger" and walk away. You need to learn how muscles work, what types of exercises to perform, how to perform them, and then you need to achieve consistency.
(I can only imagine how much sooner I would have achieved consistent happiness if my school teachers and parents would have refrained from simply demanding I "pay attention!" and instead taught me how.)
Personally, a combination of a dedicated meditation practice + mindfulness + a wee bit of studying Buddhist principles (I don't consider myself a "Buddhist"). I'm 36 and in the past 8+ months have made some pretty significant changes in the way I routinely think, and most importantly for me, created some space in between stimuli and reaction.
Anecdote: Thursday night I was going to the bathroom and dropped my phone in the toilet. Doneso - no amount of rice was saving that thing. Replacement can't get here til Monday. After that understandably frustrating experience my girlfriend made a point to call out that I pretty much didn't flinch over it all. Kinda laughed it off. For context, the learned behaviors I've owned since childhood typically goad me into punching a wall over such incidents.
It's a bit difficult to explain, but putting actual practices into play to alter the way you think/react/act feels to me like "unburdening" yourself. There was a great line in the book 10% Happier (great, easy read, no self-improvement BS) about the author wanting to call it "The Voice In My Head Is An Asshole" that kind of gets to the heart of it all, for me. We don't control ourselves! That's not how every day living is set up. If we could, then we'd never be sad or angry or stressed. It would be that simple; just tell yourself to be happy and you'd be happy. Such a simple concept but not something easily internalized.
Form habits if you can, do it consciously. This takes some practice but if you start with something simple you'll get the idea soon enough. Habit forming is a pretty powerful technique to get yourself out of a rut (and into a better rut ;) ).
Actually, don't "simply don't" because that's not a useful way to go about improving things. Learn how your brain works and what you can do to actively change the way it currently operates. You wouldn't expect a trainer at the gym to simply tell you "get stronger" and walk away. You need to learn how muscles work, what types of exercises to perform, how to perform them, and then you need to achieve consistency.
(I can only imagine how much sooner I would have achieved consistent happiness if my school teachers and parents would have refrained from simply demanding I "pay attention!" and instead taught me how.)