Of course society exists in the in the context of a discussion of loneliness and social life, why wouldn't it? Also, people's social behaviour is controlled by memes of which they are unaware, so their inner lives can be disregarded for social purposes.
The one part of the article that makes sense is the definition of loneliness; that it happens where there's a gap between one's social relationships and one's desired social relationships.
My point was to try and reduce that gap not by increasing social skill and exposure but by being honest about the value of social life. Actually I think highly social people and lonely people both share the somewhat conflicting assumptions that society is cruel and that social life is the be-all and end-all. In the former case the response is to 'get with the winners', in the latter to withdraw. Both will ultimately end up frustrated if they fail to develop the inner life you mention.
My point was that you don't deal with society directly, you deal with individual people. Ignoring their personal motivations and grouping everybody who isn't you into "society" doesn't sound like a productive way to interact with individuals.
Because of this, discussing society and whether it is or isn't your friend in this context makes as much sense to me as discussing whether the Grand Tetons are your friend.
Essentially, when I hear "it's them versus you and they don't like you much" (my reading of your first post) I hear a lot of alienation and I don't think it's a useful framework for helping lonely people make sense of the world.
Thanks for taking the time to explain what you meant.
You are right about the fact that ultimately we deal with individuals, but we are also quite good at assessing how invested individuals are in social norms and (to a lesser extent) predicting how that degree of investment is likely to bias your relations with them.
The one part of the article that makes sense is the definition of loneliness; that it happens where there's a gap between one's social relationships and one's desired social relationships.
My point was to try and reduce that gap not by increasing social skill and exposure but by being honest about the value of social life. Actually I think highly social people and lonely people both share the somewhat conflicting assumptions that society is cruel and that social life is the be-all and end-all. In the former case the response is to 'get with the winners', in the latter to withdraw. Both will ultimately end up frustrated if they fail to develop the inner life you mention.